It will take years for Ukraine to become an EU member

BEING A MEMBEREUEUEU of the European Union is, like marriage, a binary thing: either you are or you are not. Unlike marriage, little romance is involved in getting there. Ukraine got a taste of this in 2013 when it negotiated an “association agreement” with the bloc, a deal to keep both sides sweet while they mulled a closer union. The document came in at 2,135 pages. It included 44 uses of the term and 12 es. One annexe sets out the quality of paper (“not less than 25 g/m”) and size (“210 × 297mm; a tolerance of up to minus 5mm or plus 8mm in the length may be allowed”) to be used in certain official correspondence. Even by the standards of pre-nups, it was charmless.So firm has Ukraine’s belief been that its future lies within the European family of nations that such soullessness did not cool its ardour. In 2019 its aspiration to become a member of the was enshrined in its constitution. War has further fanned the flames of attraction, at least in one direction. Within a week of Russia invading on February 24th President Volodymyr Zelensky called for a shotgun wedding under a “fast-track” accession procedure. Europe, in full mode, has made clear that there is no such thing and rules are rules. These stipulate that aspirant members must adopt decades-worth of edicts on everything from how food is labelled to how banks are regulated. Even that only results in membership for those countries the club has committed itself to. Ukraine is not among them.