How to transport a rhino

Transporting tortoiseXs is tricky. You need the right crate (they like space to stretch their necks), with the right ventilation (ample), and the right base (emphatically non-slip). However, as the International Air Transport Association’s animal handbook makes clear, transporting tortoises is far easier than transporting camels (they bite), zebras (they panic) or rhinos (it’s essential to bolt the box). But above all, as the guide explains, the most important thing is that “This Way Up” labels are affixed to each and every crate. Because no one wants an inverted tortoise, let alone an upside-down elephant.Heathrow is one of the world’s busiest airports: in a normal year, around 80m people go through it. That is piffling, however, compared with how many animals do. In 2023, 6.5bn animals passed through, including 30m-odd butterfly pupae, 20m fish, 143,000 reptiles and amphibians, two mongooses, one panda and a gibbon. Just as with the human passengers, such animals must have their papers checked (horse passports are very particular) and, where appropriate, be inspected for contraband (mules can be drugs mules too). This is done by -ray if the animals fit through; or visual inspection if not. As one Heathrow official explains, “You don’t pat down a lion.”